First blog of 2008...and with it comes another denial of a possible match for the 13th time. I should have known right off the bat when Sue called that we probably wouldn't have been chosen. We have one of the most open grids for the type of child we are looking for. We're open to any race and sex of baby. Unfortunately, the birth mothers that are contacting our agency are not interested in us. I know everybody says that your baby is out there and deep, deep-deep down I know that's true but it doesn't help when you've been turned down 13 times! You just want to scream "What's wrong with us?!"
Bob seems to take it all in stride. Maybe it's a man thing...he seems completely unfazed by the whole process. I mean he wants a child but Bob always seems to have more of a 'whatever dude' attitude. I guess the hardest part for me is, not having any control over the situation. Every major decision I have made in my life...I made it and then did it. I wanted to buy a house...three months later we were all moved in. I wanted a new car...a week later I was driving a brand new car. It's not that easy with adopting a child, I am completely at the mercy of another human being and for me that it not a good feeling.
I guess it's time to stop wallowing and get back on the horse. That which does not kill us...you know the rest.
